• Dr. Jacob D van Zyl


by Dr. Jacob D van Zyl tel 013 752 2000

Practice@37A Ehmkestreet, Nelspruit, Mpumalanga, SA

BLOG (23/3) posted on 2019/05/15 – check this blog for the next update in about two weeks to one month’s time


In the previous blog I emphasized the phases of aggression and anger; bargaining and depression regarding loss. In this blog I reflect on the important final phase of acceptance.

The point of acceptance

It is important to reach the point of acceptance. One needs to come to terms with what has happened, and to forgive. People often think that they have accepted the situation, while they are actually still in the denial phase. Acceptance comes little by little – it does not come overnight. Sometimes it comes and then disappears again. It is possible that you or the people around you who have experienced the trauma, will never totally accept what happened. In such cases I encourage you to try to mostly accept it in order to prevent the trauma from becoming a stumbling block in your functioning (career, social and personal life) and the rest of your precious life. You need to accept what has happened to you, to the extent that you can carry on with your life and live it to the full. Accept it to such an extent that you will be able to live a meaningful life. Emotional baggage is something that can destroy your life. It can cause much damage in all dimensions of your life.

Acceptance from a mindfulness perspective

When facing negative situations, it is important to make use of the following four principles, rather than to try and fight, denounce or suppress the consequent emotions you might be experiencing:

i. “Acceptance” – Accept the situation rather than trying to oppose it. When one opposes the situation there will only be more options or alternatives to worry about;

In stead of developing a problem about the problem, accept it as an “it is what it is - situation”. Remember: Life is difficult. To try and oppose this fact will only create new problems to be resolved.

ii. No matter how big or impossible the challenge seems to be, always remember that God is present within the situation. God is not absent in this situation - on the contrary - He is present in His totality to help you through this situation/challenge.

iii. God wants to bless you as well as others involved within this situation. He wants to bless you with new perspectives, growth, insight or victory within these difficult circumstances.

iv. Accept that your calling might lie exactly in the midst of handling this difficult situation - in this specific moment in time.

In the next blog I hope to shed light upon the handling and treatment of the person with post-traumatic stress.

Feel free to send your questions regarding trauma to or contact my rooms at 013 752 2000 in order to make an appointment.


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