• Dr Jacob D. van Zyl

Me and Tree Blog 17


by Dr. Jacob D van Zyl tel 013 752 2000

Practice@37A Ehmkestreet, Nelspruit, Mpumalanga, SA

BLOG (17/2) posted on 2018/11/18 – check this blog for the next update in about two week’s time MOVE OUT FROM UNDER THE DARK SHADOW OF STRESS

In the previous blog (number 16) I shared with you the three circles of silence, as well as a principle in order to spend quality quiet or silent time amidst a fast paced and stressful life.

In this blog I provide ten profound questions you can ask yourself to determine whether you are suffering from stress. Most of the questions are work related, because many of us spend most of our time at work. The questions pertain to people from all walks of life (from the CEO of a company to the homemaker) who have to juggle a hundred and one tasks every day.

Ten questions you can ask yourself to determine whether you are suffering from stress

1. How much joy do I experience in my current work situation? 2. How much support do I get at home? According to my experience in private practice men especially experience the need for more recognition, support and encouragement for the work they do, from their partners. It is difficult for women who also work, to give this kind of support. As more women have entered the labour market, it is important for men to realize that their wives need their support and encouragement too. Mutual support will relieve the stress of the working couple. 3. To what extent do I strive for an alternative quality of life at this very moment? If you experience on-going inner conflict between your true and your ideal self – in this case a conflict that creates a longing for a better quality of life somewhere else – you will experience progressively more stress. 4. Am I satisfied with the relationship between work and home? Can I be the same person at home that I am at work? There are many people who can function well between eight and five. Then they go home and take out their stress on their innocent family members who often may have waited the whole day for them to come home. The question therefore is: Are you at peace where you can integrate all your life experiences? 5. Am I presently satisfied with the quality of my parenting? Working mothers especially experience intense conflict and a strong desire to be more available for their children. I think fathers should also become more conscious of their role as a father in the family. Spend at least three minutes of quality time with your children every day. - First minute: ask about his/her day. - Second minute: Share something that happended in your day. - Third minute: Play or read or do something which facilitate contact with your child.

6. What is the nature of your continuous self-development? Have you experienced the same year repeatedly for the past five years? Or did you continually grow and develop? 7. What is the nature of your day to day living? Are your norms, values and principles in place? Or is it chaos? If your value system is in a state of chaos, it creates spiritual as well as mental stress. 8. To what extent do I actualize my own interests, hobbies and leisure time? Or do I just keep them on hold for one day? By doing so you not only deprive yourself of a quality life, but also the opportunity to channel your stress more effectively. 9. Do I handle my stress or does it handle me? Am I in control of my situation or does it control me? A friend once asked me: ‘Do you live or are you being lived?’ For the Christian it is important to remember that in Genenis. 1: 28 God has appointed you to do a task. My task has not been appointed to me to overwhelm me. I was appointed above my task. My task must be handled by me. 10. Am I healthy as a whole? Meaning, am I physically, mentally and spiritually integrated? Or am I in constant strife to survive these different dimensions of my life?

If you have any questions in this regard or you have the need to share your experience with me, please e-mail me at I am also available to facilitate a group or come to your organisation to talk about the subject or feel free to book a session with me by phoning 013-752 2000.


© 2018 by 4 Keep Sakes 

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