Me and Tree Blog 12

MOVE OUT FROM UNDER THE DARK SHADOW OF STRESS

The probable causes of stress

In the previous blog I focused on a broad spectrum of causes of stress; as well as more specific causes like unresolved conflicts from the past; tension between the true and ideal self; immoral / unethical behavior; as well as stress in the context of society.

In this blog, I will discuss some of the other causes of stress like work related stress, the pursuit of material things, your craving for pleasure and immediate satisfaction.

Work related stress

Work related stress has become one of the most obvious causes of stress – it often relates to one’s perception though…In private practice as a clinical psychologist, I used to have a false conviction many years ago that I had to experience stress to be able to say “I have a busy practice”. “I have to experience stress to earn my living” – I thought. The message I sent to my unconscious mind was: “if I do not stress in my job, then something must be wrong somewhere.” What happened to the idea that you must enjoy your job? What happened with the passion for our jobs? What happened to the principle that my job is also my calling in order to reflect or to represent God? To work very hard and to live to your maximum potential does not necessary mean that you also have to endure high stress levels. The trees are a living example of this principle: they fulfill their task or calling by just being there…

The pursuit of material things

The desire to own more material things creates stress. You are chasing money so that you can buy more things. You become driven, instead of being called. It makes you a hurried person, with little time to show love. Your pursuit after material things causes even more worries. Slowly but surely, you get caught up in the grip of materialism. You put yourself in debt to acquire something big or expensive. To pay your debt, you have to work harder. When you work harder you have less time for family life and people who perhaps were previously important to you. You become someone you do not know. You are not living anymore, you are being lived.

“…fill your life with adventures, not things. have stories to tell, not stuff to show…”

Craving for pleasure and immediate satisfaction

If your desire to experience more pleasure has become the focal point of your life, it has the potential to cause a paradoxical effect. The more you seek after pleasure the less you enjoy it, and the more you experience stress. These days most forms of pleasure cost money. The cruise to Mauritius or the Caribbean you have been dreaming of, or the diving trip with a group of friends, all means extra transport, accommodation and entertainment. Expanding your house by adding an outdoor living or entertainment area, probably means getting a second mortgage on your house. Everything for pleasure, or even simply to keep up with ‘the Joneses’... This, while we all know that the best things in life are actually free. We need to return to the simple things in life, such as: Spending a day in the country; hiking or cycling in nature; having a picnic with your family under the umbrella of trees, are activities that can turn out to be both interesting and refreshing for all. Cooking a meal together is fun, and can cost a great deal less than going to a restaurant. There is wealth in simplicity.

Any factor disturbing your inner balance (homeostasis) can lead to stress. If the stressor becomes serious, it can lead to illness or even death. Many medical as well as psychological research studies point to stress as being the underlying cause of many diseases, especially cardio-vascular conditions such as heart-attacks and strokes. The same applies to people who have ailments associated with the colon. Furthermore, stress sneaks into relationships and clouds them, in some cases, even causing the relationship to become toxic.

In my next blog I would like to share a variety of ideas and guidelines on the handling of stress from a psychological perspective.